I have always been very close to my children, but what fun it is when they are thriving adults. They are not only my children but also my best friends. We all share "most" everything with one another, support each other, and even push each other to be our very best. I thoroughly enjoy hanging out with them and talking about life. It is so lovely to see them work hard, focus on their goals, achieve their goals, and just be 100!
A few months back I had a difficult conversation with my daughter. I felt that as her mother, I needed to share some concerns I had with some choices she may choose or may not choose to make in her future. I never want to hurt her or to be an overbearing parent. All I was wanting was for her to hear me out, understand my concerns, and to continue on her own path with just a few things to think about going forward. I have to say I was nervous that this conversation could go badly and then a few hours later she would be on a plane going back to finish up school and we would both be feeling sad as she left.
Wow, was I surprised when we had a great adult conversation. There was a moment at the beginning of the conversation when I saw her face start to tighten, knowing she did not want to hear my thoughts. But, she took a deep breath and really listened. She shared her feelings and thoughts with me, and an hour later, we finished the discussion, and we both felt good. I thanked her for listening and told her how proud I am of her. I also expressed how much I appreciated her mature demeanor during our conversation. It was such a great moment to see yet again what a wonderful, amazing woman she has become.
If you have to have a difficult conversation with a friend or family member, I suggest you think through what and how you want to communicate with them. Pre-planning is essential. You must keep their feelings at the forefront when figuring out how you want to share your thoughts or concerns. Treating them with respect is also very important, as well as being a good listener. The conversation has to be a two-way street. If you go in thinking it is only about you, it won't end with a positive outcome. I believe that if I had just said what was on my mind without taking time to plan it out, I probably would have upset her. Then the outcome would have been precisely the opposite of what I was trying to accomplish. Instead, it made me feel good to share my parental thoughts and to see my twenty-one-year-old "baby girl" in such a beautiful grown-up light. I walked away thinking how proud I am of her and how lucky those who know her are to have her in their lives.
I am grateful every day to have raised two beautiful and thoughtful people. It is a proud parenting moment when you realize your children have matured into amazing adults.
